The Copelands

Football Stars!

2009-09-19T17:15:00.001-07:00

Funny things she says...

2009-08-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Mimi Cate had her very first football practice tonight. She is playing UPWARD Flag Football.

I asked her to try ballet, gymnastics or cheer but,

NO! She wants FOOTBALL!!!

After practice ended, Mimi Cate came running up to me and said...

"I totally rock at THE FENCE!"
(Defense)

2009-08-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

Conversation that we had with Mimi Cate this week:

Mom, you know why we obey Daddy?

Why do you obey Daddy, Mimi Cate?

Because he is more serious than you.

Oh, really...

Yeah, Mom, you need to be more serious. Dad, you're good, though.

WELL... we are having a heart conditioning boot camp in our house this week with chores, boredom, no friends, and earned privileges. I think that Mimi Cate is discovering that I am VERY serious!

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

2009-07-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

Mimi Cate is five years old today. Sweet baby girl! She is joyful, enthusiastic, brave, loving, and generous. Oh, there is no need to sugar coat it - she is naughty! She is adventurous and forgiving. She is a delight!

Mommy: Happy Birthday, my five year old girl!

Mimi Cate: Happy Birthday to me , too! I know that you do not want me to have sugar because it is not good for my brain BUT, it is my birthday and I am FIVE YEARS OLD! I think that I should have some gum. If I do not swallow it, I want you to give me gum every day that I am five. I want cherry flava, then pineapple flava, but do not buy me bubble gum because I do not know how to blow bubbles.

She will be high on sugar around 2:30 PM today because she is having a chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting, with chocolate cream in the middle, covered in chocolate chips. Pray for us! Sugar is typically a trigger for the RADish to appear.

I am sorry that I have not blogged in the last few months. I have been buried in a season of sorrow and stress. Rejoice! Redemption!

I will not promise to update the blog often. I do enjoy Facebook. It is quick and to the point. Be sure to "friend" me, Meridith Geiselman Copeland.

BIG Day

2009-04-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

In Russia 2001, the orphanage director said, "We bring three baby boys - You choose." We prayed that God would make it abundantly clear who our son is. Allen was the second baby to be brought to us. His birthday is April 22nd, our wedding anniversary.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLEN!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ROB!

Again, sorry for the lack of blogging. I am close to getting caught up. Mer

I am still here!

2009-04-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

Alright, PERKINS, I am updating the blog,(briefly).

I have begun a post about the spring break recap but, I have not had time to finish it. We survived. We had a blast. Mimi Cate is adjusting, with rage, to normal life again.

I am swamped with work right now.

I am working with a professional organizer to get my life in order. I will share tips with you later. It turns out that I am a really organized person who tends to procrastinate when it comes to things that I am not passionate about. Hmmmm... I guess that I am not all that unusual.

Emotionally, spirtitually, and physically exhausted... lots of hard stuff going on. Praying for salvation and peace for a loved one, justice and joy for my business, justice for those who were hurt by the corrupt ORSON MOSES adoption agency, end to poverty, clean bill of health, peace for Tolik, safe travel for visitors... burden of prayer could go on and on.

Okay, I got to get back to work. I promise that I will update the blog when I have my head above water, again. Love ya! Mer

Spring Break

2009-03-14T07:28:00.001-07:00

Mimi Cate has been struggling over the last few weeks and showing us some fairly regressive behaviors. I confess... we have not been back to the psychiatrist for Neuro feedback treatments and we have had quite a few house guests. So, this little one is acting out is some RADlicious ways; throwing my laptop, snapping her glasses in half, stealing, lying, aggression, manipulatively charming... AUGH!

Well, I am anxious to say the least about taking the kids on spring break. Spring Break should reveal relaxation and adventure. RAD kiddos experience lack of routine and stability, though. I am travelling with a dear friend and three of her four kids. Her oldest is a RADish. My youngest is a RADish. WHAT ARE WE THINKING!?! This trip should be enlightening. I can't wait to learn new parentig techniques from my friend.

I want to be hopeful. I want to be encouraged. I want to look at her daughter and see the progress in her life and not be discouraged about our future with our daughter. So, stay tuned and I should have some interesting stories to share.

In preparation for our trip... I have made 5 dozen gluten free pancakes, 3 dozen gluten free waffles, 6 loaves of banana bread, 6 loaves of cornbread, a gallon of chicken noodle soup, a gallon of pot roast stew, and a gallon of turkey chili. I did not want to waste time in the kitchen during vacation so, I have spent the last 48 hours in my own. Woohoo!

Ready, Set, PRAY!

Funny things she says...

2009-03-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we were in the front yard riding bikes and scooters. I kept an eye on them while reading my book. Mimi Cate walked up to me with her hands on her hips, "Mommy!" She moved her hands gently to cup my face. "Mom, you want me to bea big girl. Don't you?" I replied, "Yes, Mimi Cate. You are getting bigger every day." Mimi Cate looked into my eyes, "So, Mom, don't you stink that it is time that I wide a big ghoul scew-ter?!?"

Rob is so proud of her sales skills!

A very quick update

2009-03-02T07:59:00.000-08:00

HI! We have had a wild time over the last few weeks. First, let me share my morning with you! Mimi Cate struggles with letters and numbers. One day she recognizes letters, the next we start from the beginning and relearn their shapes. Well, imagine our surprise... as we drove home last night, Mimi Cate said "Mom, that sign says 'S-T-O-P, that says stop." WHAT?!? Did you just read a word?!? Then, this morning we working on letters in her journal and she wrote "STOP" four times AND numbered them 1-4. THIS IS HUGE! I thought this would take years to accomplish. PRAISE & GLORY to God!

Do you remember our old blog during Mimi Cate's adoption? We stayed with a family in Odesa, Ukraine and fell in love. I am convinced that the Puzanovs are my spiritual parents. I have grieved being seperated from them so very much. Well, I LOVE FACEBOOK! I found Tolik and Tania. Tolik just arrived in Texas to study. He came to our home for two weeks and we had so much fun! He is our little brother. I wept in church that first Sunday together. I have believed that we would not stand shoulder to shoulder singing God's praises until we were reunited in Heaven someday. I sobbed uncontrollably when he handed me the phone and his mother's voice was greeting me from Ukraine. I have skyped, emailed, telephoned, and texted this family and now we pray that we will be reunited with the rest of them by the end of the year. Please pray that Tania, Luda, and Valery will be able to join us in Texas for a visit.

We have had the plague of electronic failures over the last two weeks, as well. Mimi Cate threw my laptop and destroyed the motherboard beyond repair. (Rob replaced the laptop with an ASUS laptop. It is a "gamer" pc that has flames on the cover. We have named it "El Fuego.") The dishwasher broke. The dryer is determined to only operate on the hottest and longest cycle. Then, our Navigators young lady lost her Apple Desktop to some crazy disease that has inexplicably crippled her as she plans a mission trip to Mexico for Spring Break. Lord! We implore you to lift the plague of electronic collapse.

Alright, I will write more later and post pics. Have a delightul day. I am off for a PTA meeting, errands, errands, errands, horse paperwork, phone calls, baking, dinner, laundry... OH MY!

Parenting Song...

2009-02-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

My dear friend and fellow RADtastic mom, Laura, turned me onto this video. It is hilarious!

Hi/Lo Thursday $100 Giveaway

2009-02-12T03:14:00.000-08:00

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and for a chance to win $100.

HI!!! I am going to burst!I have been holding onto this good news for you all week!
Mimi Cate is always moving, talking, fidgeting, flayling... constant motion! She breaks so many things because she is our bow-headed, always smiling, pink tornado. Mimi Cate understands right from wrong but, struggles with positive rewards and negative consequences. So often, I exhasperatedly wonder, "Will she ever be still? Will she ever get it?!?"

Well, last Friday, we were in the car for over an hour. She was truly struggling to keep it together. PEACE BE STILL came on the CD Player. This little girl who can't keep from moving the slightest twitch in her toes, became still and quiet. She started singing so softly. As the song ended, Mimi Cate whimpered...

"Mommy, that song makes my heart cry."

She gets it!!! Peace for a child that has none. That song touched her heart. Thank you, Lord. She had struggled for so long with allowing us to truly love her. She is allowing God to lavish His love on her, as well. My heart swells with its own tears for her.

lo...

I made a quick visit to RapidMed last night. I chose to slice off the tip of my finger as I peeled carrots for our meal. Yuck! I left the clinc with a huge bandage and metal brace wrapped around my middle finger. It's a good thing that I am held accountable by the "Moms In Touch" license plate holder on the back of my car. I could have had a bit of fun flipping off those crazy drivers.

Have a delightful day!

Hi/Lo Thursday

2009-02-05T07:09:00.000-08:00

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check our their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts.

This weeks Hi...
Still, forgiveness! The tiniest drop has opened a flood in my heart. I am truly finding contentment from my heavenly Father. I was adopted from birth. Intellectually, I know that my birthparents loved me and desired a blessed life for me. My heart has carried an abandonment, though. My mother's first husband chose to pursue a life that did not include me. Intellectually, I know that he had few choices and he did what he thought was best. Again, my heart has carried abandonment. This week, I have come to recognize that I have not truly forgiven them for failing to meet my unrealistic expectations. I have also recognized my own sin. I have failed to see myself as loved unconditionally as God's child.

Big stuff! So simple. So necessary. My sweet kiddos might come into these struggles as they grow. Their circumstances are so different but, tied together through adoption.

LO...
Hmmm... burden for prayer is a privilege. Although, I do carry sadness for a person that I have never met. God has pressed on me to pray for an individual that I only know through a mutual friend. I know how she must be hurting. I know that she feels fear and sadness. I pray that she is encouraged. I implore the Lord to strengthen her marriage. I pray that she is at peace and welcomes the struggles that are in her life right now as she keeps her eye on the true prize.

Alright, gotta get going. Rob and I are going away for the weekend!!! Yippee! Respite. No kids, no laundry, no projects around the house, no cooking or cleaning... spa day, dress up for dinner, naps, and time together.

"Come, my beloved, let us go forth to the field; let us lodge in the villages." Song of Solomon 7:11

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

2009-02-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

I copied this article from Christine at Smiles & Trials.

I know this little girl.

She carries a huge chunk of my heart.

She is spunky, resilient, charming, fun and I know why...

The Visible Kid with the Invisible Disability
© 2003 Teresa Kellerman

Hey, look at me! Do you think I'm cute? On the outside, I look just like any other kid - friendly, playful, and full of energy. But there's something about me on the inside that you can't see - how my brain was messed up before birth by alcohol. You can't see the tangled connections and all the little empty spaces in my brain. Unless you can see inside my head, you can't see that I have - what's it called? Static En-ceph-al-o-pathy.
But what you can see is how silly I act when I am out in public. You can see how immature I am, especially when you compare me with other kids my age. And you always notice when I get out of control and "lose it" when things get to be too much for me to handle.
Can you see how embarrassed I get when I can't control my behavior? And how frustrated I get when I forget the rules - again? And my anger when I get blamed for trouble over and over? You probably can, because you can see my feelings plastered all over my face.
You say I'm a problem. But I'm not a problem. I have a problem. I have Static Encephalopathy. The doctor told me what that means - my brain damage won't get any worse, but it won't get any better either. It's forever.
You can always hear me, because I talk a lot, to anyone who will listen. When you ask me a question, an answer just pops out, whether it's true or not. I'm good at telling you what you want to hear. I can fool people into thinking I really understand what they are telling me. I don't want anyone to think I'm stupid.
I also act like I can take care of myself. But it's hard for me to figure out time and money. I can't even make change for a dollar. I can't remember what I got in trouble for yesterday. You probably think I should learn from my mistakes. But I can't. It's not that I don't know the rules - I do. It's not that I don't understand consequences - I do. I just can't make myself do what I know I should do. I don't know why - I just can't.
Maybe you notice that I don't have a lot of common sense. I'm the one who goes along with the wrong crowd, who gets sucked into doing some really stupid things. And I'm the one who usually gets caught.
My teacher always tells me, "You should know better than that!" And I do know better. I just can't be better. The doctor says it has to do with "lack of impulse control and poor judgment" are from damage to my brain before I was born.
My Dad says, "Just grow up." He says I act half my age. The researchers say "arrested social development" is common in kids like me who are alcohol affected. That means the only thing that will grow up will be my body.
Everybody can see that I'm friendly and affectionate. But nobody can see how lonely I am. I have lots of "friends" but they never come over or call me. I don't have a best friend. But I pretend like I do. I wish I had a dog.
I'm not afraid of anything or anybody. I'm not afraid of strangers, or of heights, or of unsafe sex. I'm not afraid of the dangers of the real world.
Should I be? Maybe I forget. Even when people tell me things over and over, I still forget. The psychologist says I have a problem processing information, that I have memory deficits and attention deficit disorder and hyperactivity. Yep, that's me all right!
You probably think my mom is over-protective. But she knows how easy it is for others to take advantage of me. Sometimes I think my mom is too strict, because she doesn't let me go to the park by myself or spend the night at my cousin's. I guess she knows that I can't behave properly unless she's right by my side, and she doesn't want me to get into big trouble. Like last year when I got too "friendly" with the little girl next door. I didn't know that was "inappropriate." (I hate that word.) Mom said I could get arrested for doing something like that, which really scared me. But my conscience doesn't seem to work right. I don't want to make people mad. I don't want to be "inappropriate." I don't want to be bad.
I just want to be accepted, and understood. Not blamed and shamed. I want to be appreciated for the good things. Do you notice those?
I want you to care, even when I act like I don't. I want to be respected. And I need you to be a good role model for me so I can learn to be respectful too.
And most of all I don't want you to say bad things about my birth mom because she drank when she was pregnant. Maybe she couldn't stop drinking. Maybe her doctor told her it was okay to drink when she was pregnant. Maybe she just did what everybody else was doing. I'm not making excuses for her behavior, or for mine. Maybe she didn't think about what she was doing. Maybe she had Static Encephalopathy too, just like me. But nobody could see.

SHAZAM!

2009-01-27T05:57:00.000-08:00

Good morning! Well, the kids are out of school because of bad weather... bad weather that is not here, yet! I am trying to come up with a game plan for the day. Keep them busy!

Rob has been out of town for quite some time and the li'l ones are starting to test the strength of the perimeter fences (much like the raptors in the movie, Jurassic Park). Mimi Cate is in 25% RADlicious behavior and escalating.

My sweet husband is so organized. His garage is packed with all of his tools and toys. Everything has a precise place. He placed the kids bounce house on a shelf above the garage door. I need to climb the ladder to get to it and then, try not to fall off as I hoist the 75lb roll of plastic down to the ground. I'm on not exactly the most agile on a ladder! Oh... where is that RV driving superhero from the 70's to come and save the day and my sanity??? SHAZAM! Captain Marvel... bring that Winebago up our driveway and thwart the takeover planned by my li'l darlings. It only takes a bounce house set up in the garage to distract them...

Forgiveness w/ revised note at the bottom

2009-01-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

"Forgive and forget. But, if you can't forget, forgive every time you remember."

This was wisdom shared with me by my church mentor when Rob and I struggled with our marriage a few years ago. I just happened to stumble upon my notes a few days ago and found those very words. Today, I needed them more than air, probably because I felt like I could not breath. The burden was too heavy and I could not find my breathe. Forgiveness often feels like an impossible weight to lift.

I just started weight training with a trainer at the gym. He is encouraging and steadfast, holding me accountable and unwavering to the goal. He is consistent. He is committed to working with me to lift the weight. There are not excuses. He knows the facts about me and he has not given me more than I can handle. He knows that I am struggling. He is by my side when I feel that I can't take more. What a perfect example of our Lord!!!

I have mentioned that I have asked God to reveal unresolved sin in my life. This was not only a personal request but, a request to equip me to help Mimi Cate deal with the circumstances in her past that will emerge in the future. I want to stand strong, with honesty and integrity. I want to embrace sufferings and fully recognize the person God wants me to be. It will take some pretty strong arms to carry and contain all of those blessings so I am doing some serious spiritual weight training right now.

So, (sigh), God is opening all the drawers! Drawers that I thought I had efficiently packed and closed with no need to open again. HA! I thought that I had forgiven. I thought that I had moved on. But, God is showing me that I did forgive the other people. I walked away with a false sense of closure and lied to myself that hurt was over. What I am realizing is the hardest forgiveness is... forgiving myself. Forgiving who I was and recognizing the consequences of my sin. Sins from decades ago are still fresh wounds because I have not forgiven the sinner inside of me. I carry that hurt with me every day, I just did not know it. It effects who I am with God, with my loved ones, and the way that I see myself.

Oh, I am all of sudden more determined to lift heavier and go deeper. I am not quitting in the reps and weights. I want this. I want God to polish me to be a shining stone! I want those "Kelly Ripa" arms! I have to go through this exercise in forgiveness because I know that it is coming for my daughter, as well. I want to be there for her when she lifts the forgiveness weights of her past. I want to be her trainer. I want to be steadfast and consistent. I have to be in the best possible spiritual shape because this is going to be hard for her and it is coming sooner than either of us would like.

Oh, by the way, a year from now... I will lose 10% body fat! I will feel my foot, again(nerve damage from my last back surgery), I will be running again, I will have those arms!

This is a part of an email that I got from my best friend and truest sister last night: "Meridith, I know you know this, but I want you to remember who you are. Your sins are washed and completely removed from you. God sees you as his pure and radiant bride (and so does Rob). He sees no spot or stain in you. He delights in you with singing. You are hidden under his wing. You are not who you were, you are completely new in Christ. But don’t forget that Christ loved the girl you were, too, enough to die for you to be with him. " An epiphany moment for me! AHA! I seem to compartmentalize. I HATE who I used to be. I know that Jesus died for the sinner. I never put the two together. Jesus loved me as a sinner therefore, I can't HATE her anymore. Mmmm... I'm just gonna sit in that today. Good stuff! I sure hope that my kids "get it" with much less difficulty than I do. Twenty years as a believer and I am awakened to a basic truth today.

A very sad day

2009-01-23T16:46:00.000-08:00

I am so disappointed that Obama has made international abortion funding one of his initial acts in his presidency. I struggle to find the words. Tears come so much more easily. I am adopted, domestically. My babies are adopted, internationally. Our birthmothers are so brave. I admire them so much. I KNOW that my life was worth saving. I KNOW that my babies are worth saving. I KNOW that every life is worth saving...
again, no words. Just heartache and tears.

WASHINGTON – President Obama today signs an order that will put hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars into the hands of organizations that aggressively promote abortion as a population-control tool in the developing world.

Obama's order overturns the "Mexico City Policy," under which funds in the U.S. "population assistance" program go only to overseas organizations that pledge not to "perform or actively promote abortion as a method of family planning."

Douglas Johnson, legislative director for the National Right to Life Committee (NRLC), commented, "This is the first in an anticipated series of attacks on longstanding pro-life policies, as the new administration pushes Obama's sweeping abortion agenda. That agenda includes repeal of the Hyde Amendment, which would result in tax-funded abortion as a birth control method in the U.S., and imposition of sweeping pro-abortion mandates on private employers through health-care reform legislation.

"One effect of Obama's order will be to divert many millions of dollars away from groups that do not promote abortion, and into the hands of those organizations that are the most aggressive in promoting abortion in developing countries. President Obama not long ago told the American people that he would support policies to reduce abortions, but today he is effectively guaranteeing more abortions by funding groups that promote abortion as a method of population control."

Contrary to some misunderstandings, enforcement of the Mexico City Policy did not reduce the amount of money spent on the program, nor will Obama's order increase the amount (which is $461 million in the current fiscal year). Rather, the policy affects what type of groups qualify for grants under the program. "Obama's order will predictably result in a redirection of funds to groups such as the International Planned Parenthood Federation, which are ideologically committed to the doctrine that abortion on demand must be universally available as a birth control method," Johnson said.

A no purpose post...

2009-01-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

This post serves absolutely no purpose revelant to adoption, or RAD, or even family. I ran into this picture a few days ago and I can't stop laughing! I drive down the street and start giggling as I think about it. FOURTH GRADE!!! What a dork! I know that my mom made me sleep with those pink sponge rollers the night before the pic was taken. I know that the outfit had to be "Granimals." I know that the biggest worry of that year was that I stood at least 6 inches taller than all the boys in my grade. Ronald Reagan became president. I learned about Greek mythology. I got to use ink pens for the first time for schoolwork. I know that it never occured to me that my life would be so complicated and yet, so absolutely delightful when I would be 38 years old.

I just celebrated my ninth 29th birthday last weekend. I can't believe how quickly time is flying by. I don't feel like it has been 16 years since college. Yet, so many things about my past seem so absolutely distant from the life I live now. Our time here is so absolutely short, good and the bad... this is as close to hell as I am ever going to get.

Today, my naturally curly hair continues to get further out of control. My outfits rarely match anymore and I live in workout clothes, regardless if I actually work out. My husband stands 6 inches taller than I do. We get a brand new president today, (whether I agree with him or not... it is very exciting!). I learn new truths daily from the greatest book ever written. I hide those ink pens from a sly little four year old who prefers to write on herself more than paper. I treasure each joy and suffering that comes my way.

Hi/Lo Thursday

2009-01-15T07:03:00.000-08:00

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on Riggs Family Blog .

The HI part of my week... oh so many things, just to pick one... Well, I have been praying for the last few weeks that God will reveal to me unresolved sin. Well, I have been reading an addictive set of novels (TWILIGHT) and my past, surprisingly, smacked me right in the head. I resemble the book in absolutely no way (I try to avoid danger in every possilbe way & tend to hang out with only the living). But, one line that I read took me straight back to my adolescence and WHAM! I saw my sin and how that it's consequences have carried into my everyday life. OUCH! It hurts. It is lovely to have the veil lifted. It is comforting to be forgiven. (Sorry to be cryptic. I am sure that you understand, though).

The LO part of the week... I am saying goodbye to our almost 15 year old cat today. According to the vet, she is the equivalent of an 85 year old human in age. She is painfully shy. She loves my sweet husband and tolerates me sleeping on her side of the bed. My husband is so sad. Allen is sad. Mimi Cate... well, ya know... RADishes don't truly attach to many things so this is not so hard on her. I will miss our Harriet and how that she has kept me warm at night.

You have no choice, she brings you to your knees...

2009-01-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

I am blessed that God revealed the sweet burden for prayer for Abby. Embracing sufferings seems truly impossible but, the blessings awaiting us in the end are so wonderfully surprising. It is heartbreaking to watch as others struggle through what appear to be insurmountable hardships. There is so little that I can do, no words that I can speak, and no tasks that I can take on to be helpful in those situations. BUT, I can pray. Isn't it the greatest act of love? Just pray for someone. Pray for tiniest details and pray for the overall blessing.

I ask you, if you are not already, to pray for Abby and her family.

New Year's Resolutions...

2008-12-31T15:16:00.001-08:00

Well, it is the big question this time of year, isn't it? Well, my 2009 resolution is to make less commitments. So, I am not really able to commit to a resolution!

The King! Do you know him?

2008-12-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas.

Can I get an AMEN?!?!

Standing strong! (Sort of)

2008-12-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

Inconvenienced!!! I tell ya, God is allowing Satan to mess with me right now. I pray that I will continue to make my Father proud, though. They are not sufferings, just annoying inconveniences.

1. Our playful Golden came home from Thanksgiving boarding... Fleas!!!
2. Allen scratched his head through the entire Christmas program... LICE!!!
3. Spent 24 hours vacuuming all soft surfaces & washing everything... LICE!!!
4. Argued with school policy to NOT alert parents... LICE!!!
5. Beloved employee of 38 years... TERMINATED!!!
6. Mole removed... CANCER!!!
7. My Bible for 28 years, Experiencing God, & Hind's Feet in High Places (all with thousands of notes)in a book bag from my mother's trip to Italy... Stolen!!!

I am determined to make room at the inn for Jesus, though. I will not permit sadness, busy-ness, or self pity to make me miss the glory of heaven born on Christmas day. I will not allow these little distractions to hinder this season to glorify my God and His perfect gift, Jesus Christ.

But, I do ask for your tiny prayer that this let up a bit. Exhaustion is setting in so, please pray that God will allow me to sleep through the night and multiply the sleep that I do get. I did, just now, slam my husband's Bible down so that I could yell at my children for a minor infraction. OOOOPS! sorry.

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the Lord his God,
Who made heaven and earth,
The sea, and all that is in them;
Who keeps truth forever,
Who executes justice for the oppressed,
Who gives food to the hungry.
The Lord gives freedom to the prisoners.
The Lord opens the eyes of the blind;
The Lord raises those who are bowed down;
The Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the strangers;
He relieves the fatherless and the widow;
But the way of the wicked He turns upside down.
The Lord shall reign forever - Your God, O Zion, to all generations.
PRAISE THE LORD! Pslam 146:5-10

By the way, I do have praises to share!
1. Mimi Cate continues to thrive.
2. Lice are gone. Fleas are gone.
3. My first time as room mom, and Allen's class party went well.
4. A door is closed and a window is opening in my business.
5. Christmas time is so fun!
6. The S Family have bought a home and they are so happy. We will miss seeing them everyday, though.

Thanks! Mer

Christmas time is just flat out fun!

2008-12-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

Mimi Cate is loving this Christmas light video. She watches it over, and over, and over, and over, and over again!

The S Family is living with us for just a few more days. They are moving into their new home during the Christmas break. All five kids have built gingerbread houses, decorated mini Christmas trees, decorated the house, and made lots of ornaments. Here are a few pics of all the fun...

Here are a few more pics from forever family day...

Forever Family Day

2008-12-13T05:05:00.000-08:00

December 13th!!! In Russia 2001, Allen's adoption decree was issued and he became our son. In Ukraine 2005, Mimi Cate's adoption decree was issued and she became our daughter. Can you believe it?!? Two different countries, four years apart, 365 days in a year... and they share the same adoption date.

I love this day. Forever Family Day is my very favorite day of the year. We have been blessed beyond measure.

We began our day with a Santa Brunch. We delivered lots of toys for foster children. We spent the afternoon baking our cake and playing games. This evening we are going on a Santa hayride with cider and carolling. We are together. We are a family. Life is so good!!!

Thinking about the good...

2008-12-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

This has been 48 hours of some of the deepest sadness that I have experienced in my short little life. I can't go into too much detail because it is still a fresh wound. Know that we are safe, healthy, employed and no one has passed away. Our children are fine and our marriage is strong. I am grieving a lost relationship.

I must focus on all of the good. I must know that God still sits on the throne. I am "so loved." I choose to find joy, peace and hope. I pray. I love.

Here are some of my VERY good things that I choose to focus on. My Mimi with Allen and Mimi Cate...

My babies...

Allen's first completion pass...

The kids and I have the same favorite person...

"Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14

"In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in Your righteousness." Psalm 31:1

Just a few Christmas gift ideas...

2008-12-06T13:55:00.000-08:00

Do you realize the circumstances that rob us of our joy are usually about the stuff we have, the stuff we want to acquire, and worrying about the management of our stuff? During this season in particular, we all hurry around to find stuff for the ones that we love which causes us to worry about other people's stuff .

We are blessed beyond measure!!! We have all of our needs met. We have more than we could possibly want. In our home, we are trying to stick to the THREE GIFT theme. Jesus received three precious gifts from the Magi. Gold, a shining and incorruptable treasure. Frankinscence, a divine scent burned in the family home or during a time of worship. Myrhh, a bittersweet and pratical fragrance used in burial, acknowledging at Jesus' birth, that His life's purpose was death of our sins. Of course, Jesus IS our divine, perfect, incorruptable gift that draws into relationship with God, through the Holy Spirit, by suffering death as ransom for our sins.

We, as a family, give three gifts in our home. The gold gift is the present that is the most desired for that individual, (bike, scooter, Barbie, spa day, TV). The Frankinscence gift is something that either enriches the individual's time with God or the family (New Bible, Devotional, Bible Study OR Wii, board game, sporting event tickets for the family, family vacation). The Myrhh gift is a practical gift (sheets, socks, scarf, baking sheet).

Of course, we communicate all of this with Santa. He has lots of fun providing for the stocking stuffers in our home. He often brings nuts, candies, Christmas ornaments, crayons and markers.

For our friends, we are moving towards gifting to charity in the individual's name. Here are some terrific organizations that we are contributing to:

Heritage Kids

Our friend, Slavic, and his wife work with

orphanages in and around Odesa, Ukraine.

Saints Coffee

Buy a pound of coffee and feed an orphan for a month!

Music Mission Kiev

Mission Statement:The purpose of Music Mission Kiev is to bring the sacred masterpieces of classical music to the country of Ukraine proclaiming the Gospel to and through Ukrainian musicians to the world--and ministering to the emerging Christian community in Ukraine through evangelism, discipleship, and humanitarian outreach to widows and orphans.

Vision Statement:Our Vision is to reach the people of former Soviet Union beyond the borders of Ukraine, to disciple new believers, and prepare those who are called to be missionaries/Christian leaders throughout Eastern Europe.

Spoken For

International Youth Outreach is a Christian organization that serves young people living in challenging environments to provide them with spiritual, physical, and emotional guidance. We strive to transition these youth into adulthood with a Kingdom-minded world view that is lived out through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

(They minister to Russian orphans aging out of the orphanages)

50000 Shoes

We are offering you a way to make a one time $5 donation and purchase 2 pairs of shoes.

Tiny Rock Star T Shirts

Our mission is simple: end the phenomenon of orphans living in extreme poverty. Yes, we recognize this is a lofty goal, but our first step is to fund a "Care Point" run by Children's Hopechest in Swaziland, Africa.
How?
To make this happen we've set out to sell the coolest, highest quality kids' T-Shirts and Onesies and so we can give to these kids in need. In fact for every shirt you buy, we will donate enough to feed an orphan for a whole month. Pretty simple, huh?

Let me know of your ideas. Merry Christmas! Mer

WHY?

2008-11-24T05:43:00.000-08:00

I found a quote in the book, THE SHACK...

"We write so we don't feel so alone."

I have been asked why I blog. Why do I share so much about my personal life? Why do I share so much about my family's life?

Perhaps I am naive but, I assume that I know most of my blog followers. You are family, friends, fellow adoptive parents, and fellow RAD parents. Most of you I have emailed with or communicated through your own blogs. We have common ties and common struggles in life and family.

I have learned so much from so many of you who blog about your adoption journeys and the situations that present themselves at home. The adoption and RAD blogosphere is my support and accountability circle of friends that (on extrodinarily difficult days) I find myself desperate to interact with.

Christine posted a note on her blog that really put to writing what I have been trying to portray to my non-RAD, non-Blog buddies. You don't understand! Really, it's okay. You have been blessed with children that attach to you from the day that they felt your breathe, heard your voice, saw your face. I covet the bond that you have with your children. You don't have to make a conscience choice to love your kids, it is as natural as breathing. When your kids act out, you do not have to question the underlying abuse that caused their behaviors or grieve the days that you missed. I admire you. I love the example that each of you show of unconditional love and I am passionate in achieving that relationship with my daughter. I appreciate that you try to be sympathetic. I do see the eyes roll and the slight sighs when I start talking about our struggles, though. So, please continue to have patience, show grace, and smile when we vent... even if you do not understand.

I am so blessed to have so many friends, in person and web-based. As Christine noted, take a moment to encourage a RAD parent or just a plain ol' parent this week. This is really hard work and we all need some cheerleaders and fans on our side.

RAD In the news...

2008-11-19T06:40:00.000-08:00

I have copied this from Brenda.

Article from the Omaha World Herald. The Safe Haven Law is a big topic in Nebraska right now. The age change is being debated and hopefully will be settled soon. This article was in the paper. It had a box to the side that had the info on RAD in it. Hopefully a few hundred people read it and are better educated. Here is the article and info from the box!

"On a flight to Omaha, the 5-year-old boy threw his usual rage-filled tantrums, kicking at the plane windows and seats while cursing.A passenger asked the boy's guardian, Melyssa Cowburn, if she knew about Nebraska's safe haven law.That's what I would do as soon as I got there, he told her. Not a bad idea, another passenger said.That was the plan when Cowburn bought the tickets for herself and the child, who goes by the nickname "T.""He needs so much more than one family can give," she said Monday. "God knows, if it was just love that could make him better, he would be better. She ended up becoming T's guardian after a chance encounter with a stranger in 2004.Then 24, Cowburn was living in North Carolina when a woman begged for money, then asked her to hold her baby, who was dirty and wearing only shorts, while the woman shopped for groceries.The mother never returned.Cowburn contacted police and eventually agreed to keep the 16-month-old.She had had miscarriage after miscarriage and had been adopted as a baby. Her parents had been foster parents, taking in 39 children over the years."He was like this miracle who had come into my life," she said. "I thought, really naively, 'All he needs is someone to love him.'"The first signs of trouble were his screaming fits, hollering for seven hours without shedding a tear. He hoarded food, hiding it in vents and behind furniture.She avoided putting him on medication, concerned that he was too young, but she gave in after T tried to push a baby from a car when he was 2½."He doesn't act like he has a conscience," said Cowburn's mother, Ruth Thompson of Omaha.Cowburn later learned that the boy's mother had bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, in addition to a drug addiction.The boy has been placed in psychiatric hospitals three times and released with medication and outpatient therapy.He has reactive attachment disorder, a lack of emotional attachment that results in disturbed and inappropriate behavior; disruptive behavior disorder, a consistent pattern of breaking rules; and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder."It's like a disruptive 13-year-old in a 5-year-old's body," Cowburn said. "Most mothers wake up to, 'Mommy, I'm hungry.' I have to hear, 'If you don't get up, I'll slit your dog's throat.' This is like a horrible nightmare that never ends."Cowburn's husband was deployed for 18 months, mostly in Afghanistan, while the family lived in Bellevue and in Waterloo, Iowa.In April 2007, the boy cut the family cat and came at Cowburn with a knife. She got him into a car and drove to her mother's apartment.Once there, Cowburn tried to overdose on prescription pills, hoping the boy would get a family who could provide better care.The Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services made the boy a state ward but returned him to Cowburn after she agreed to certain services.Provided were a family support worker and intensive family preservation services, which involve a therapist and a support worker who spends hours in a family's home every week looking for causes of problems and teaching parenting skills. Cowburn went to a therapist, and the boy went to a program and took medication.He later was placed in a foster home after allegations were made that Cowburn didn't follow through.Cowburn said she sometimes missed meetings because workers seemed to focus on her rather than addressing her child's out-of-control behavior. She also had a miscarriage and car trouble.A judge closed the case in March when the family moved to Washington state, where Cowburn's husband was stationed.The boy's explosive behavior further rattled her husband, who has had symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder from combat, Cowburn said.On Christmas, T pushed Cowburn's 90-pound mother, who fell. She fractured her hip and pelvis and spent seven weeks in a nursing home recovering. Her doctor said the boy cannot come to her home anymore.The boy has broken Cowburn's nose, cut her forehead with a snow brush and left deep bruises from biting her calf. He has put a kitten inside an oven and blinded the family's parrot.Cowburn cannot physically control the boy, who already weighs 63 pounds. Both she and her husband are about 5-foot-6 and slender.The boy has poured brownie mix onto the carpet, smothered it with water and salad dressing and ground it into the fibers with his feet. He kicks holes in walls.He urinated on the neighbor's dog and threw canned food off the balcony."It's like a horror movie every day," Cowburn said.He can be good. Sometimes he apologizes for being bad."I can't make it stop," he has told her. He'll act like a little doctor and bring ice for her headache, even when he's the one who hit her in the head.He was kicked out of kindergarten this fall for physical aggression, including choking a girl.About a month ago, the couple decided that they could take no more and tried to find a residential program for him.They needed a doctor to sign a referral, but waiting lists for psychiatrists were two to six months long."We have tried everything in the whole world to get him help," she said. "I feel like I am screaming at the top of my lungs in a glass room."Cowburn's mother recommended the safe haven law."She's went through hell with him," Thompson said. "I told her, 'He's going to kill you or you're going to lose your mind.'"The couple made their decision last week, after T set fire to the shower curtain one day, then flooded the apartment the next, clogging the sinks and toilets.The next day, Thursday, Cowburn booked plane tickets to Omaha. She left him that night at Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha."If things work, I want him back," she said.

What is reactive attachment disorder?Reactive attachment disorder is a psychiatric illness that involves a lack of emotional attachment. The disorder reflects "markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate" behavior in social relationships beginning before a child reaches age 5, according to the American Psychiatric Association. What causes it? The primary cause is neglect in infancy, typically in a child's first two years of life. Neglect can take several forms: • Persistent disregard for child's basic emotional needs for comfort, stimulation and affection. • Persistent disregard for the child's basic physical needs. • Repeated changes in primary caregivers that prevent formation of stable attachments; for example, frequent changes in foster care or children who have been in orphanage. Symptoms often associated with the disorder: • Inability to give and receive affection. • Chronic, nonsensical lying - lying about the obvious. • Inability to control impulses. Injuring oneself, pets or others. • Hoarding, gorging, hiding or refusing food. • Vandalisms and destructiveness. • Indiscriminate affection toward strangers. • Superficially engaging and charming behavior. • Lack of cause-and-effect thinking. • Learning disorders. • Toileting issues"World-Herald staff writer Lynn Safranek contributed to this report.

I am overcome with grief for this little boy and his parents. I am blessed beyond measure that our daughter is healing! This could have been us, we had that child here with us. Allen was choked. Playmates were bitten. I was bruised. Pets were in danger. Pre-schools did not want her .... NO! I can't think like that! I don't live in the what ifs, I choose to focus on the WHAT IS!

Finally, brothers,whatever is true,

whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable - if anything is

excellent or praiseworthy -

think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8

I don't know why God has chosen to heal our hearts and the heart and brain of our daughter. I am so thankful that we have such a network of support that has prayed for us and God has been faithful to those prayers. Please, direct your prayers to this little boy and his family. Mer

Be encouraged!

2008-11-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

The S family has been living with us as they transition to their new position in the Navigators ministry. They are delightful! We have learned so much from them, enjoyed fellowship with them, admired how they raise Godly children, picked their brains for parenting wisdom, and shared some terrific meals.

This morning, Mrs. S shared some comforting words with their two youngest daughters and I was blessed to be in the right place at the right time. I want to pass this on to you, as well.

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king." Daniel 2:19-23

I find so much comfort in the firm truth that GOD IS STILL ON HIS THRONE!

2008-11-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

My grandmother won the 1999 All American Futurity with A Delightful Dasher. That is the biggest quarter horse race! It was her dream come true. Sadly, the day was bittersweet. She was victorious in the richest quarter horse race and celebrating at her home with a few hundred of her fellow horsemen. As the party was winding down, I walked my Papa up the stairs to my grandparent's bedroom. He took a few steps into the room and then collapsed. He was taken to the hospital and they quickly sent him home, claiming that he was only drunk. UGH! Within a few hours, we realized that he had suffered a stroke and rushed him to Midland. I still grieve that my Mimi was not able to enjoy her success for more than a few brief hours. Their lives completely changed from that moment. The stroke lit a firestorm in my Papa's Alzheimer's disease. Mimi was truly "walking through the valley under the shadow of death" as she suffered through the next two and half years with Papa.

I quit my job in commercial design and worked for my Mimi in managing the horse business. We were blessed with our time together. We travelled all over the country enjoying the successes of her horses. We usually stopped in Las Vegas during every trip so that she could play slots. We had a blast together!

I just want to take a minute to mention a few of her great AQHA accomplishments:
Gwendolyn Eaves was awarded the Millie Vessels award in 1999!

Champion Two Year Old Gelding, Hes My Dasher, earnings $575,836
Champion Two Year Old, Champion Two Year Old Gelding, A Delighful Dasher, earnings $1,660,525
Champion Broodmare 1999, Fortune of Delight, earnings $100,269, earnings of her foals exceeding $2.5 Million in 8 years

Champion Two Year Old Colt, Tres Seis, earnings $856,901, Sire of foals earning almost $4 million in 3 years

I have struggled with continuing my Mimi's legacy. This began as a hobby for her and we have tried to turn it into a business based on a gamble. My Mimi suffers from Alzheimer's now and she is not able to participate with me.

I am not a risk taker! I love the horses and recognize their personalities. I do not look at them as investments or simply, livestock. My grandmother taught me to always provide the best care for them and be a high maintenance owner. I have to be the advocate for each animal in our care. Racing is full of owners that truly love their horses and treasure them as wonderful members of their families.

Racehorse are true atheletes. So, I find it difficult to balance protecting them and fulfilling their capabilities on the racetrack. I have lost horses to tragic accidents at the track, in the barn, and on the farm. I have struggled financially. I have wanted to sell the farm. I have spent many nights crying over equine sickness, surgeries, injuries, miscarriages, and broken professional relationships. I worry most days if I making the best choices for these beautiful animals. I wonder if I am strong enough to keep my Mimi's business going.

I am changing the focus of the business from racing to breeding. My grandmother's goal was to win the All American Futurity. She did it. My goal is to breed the highest selling horse in an auction. As of today, the highest selling quarter horse colt sold for $575,000. So, I have set some pretty high standards.

We have a stallion that is experiencing some wonderful successes. His name is Tres Seis... Ain't he awesome?!?

I know it is strange that I am posting all my work stuff on my family blog BUT... WE HAD A GREAT WEEKEND!!! Tres Seis won the Golden State Futurity in 2001. As I mentioned, he is now a sire of some amazing racehorses. Tres Seis sired a colt that won the Golden State Futurity last Saturday night. YIPPEE!

This is the 2008 Golden State Futurity winner TRES PASSES, Tres Seis x Sporty Spice... Congratulations!!!

Neurofeedback

2008-10-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a few weeks ago that we began neurofeedback with Mimi Cate. Wow! What a difference! This is the little girl that we dreamt of when we interviewed in that homestudy in 2004. She is initiatiating kindness, gentleness, appropriate affection, self control, love, patience, joy, trust, peace, and goodness. To sum it up... we are witnessing the Holy Spirit in her. Without going into too much detail, Mimi Cate is meeting milestones that a "normal" child would have met two years ago. Basic daily living skills are being accomplished, mastered, and she is seeking more responsibility. She is working well with her classmates. She has not showed aggression. The learning gaps seem to be disappearing. She is retaining information and even, learning Bible verses. Praise God!

I can't explain neurofeedback myself. I am copying some info from www.eeginfo.com. As we have meandered through neurofeedback with the psychiatrist, there was one treatment when her measurements were set too high. Mimi Cate completely regressed six months. The next week, the measurements were corrected and we were back on task. I love this treatment!!! I have been terrified of meds and I am so thankful that we were referred to neurofeedback.

Neurofeedback is direct training of brain function, by which the brain learns to function more efficiently. We observe the brain in action from moment to moment. We show that information back to the person. And we reward the brain for changing its own activity to more appropriate patterns. This is a gradual learning process. It applies to any aspect of brain function that we can measure. Neurofeedback is also called EEG Biofeedback, because it is based on electrical brain activity, the electroencephalogram, or EEG. Neurofeedback is training in self-regulation. It is simply biofeedback applied to the brain directly. Self-regulation is a necessary part of good brain function. Self-regulation training allows the system (the central nervous system) to function better.

What is Neurofeedback used for?
Neurofeedback addresses problems of brain disregulation. These happen to be numerous. They include the anxiety-depression spectrum, attention deficits, behavior disorders, various sleep disorders, headaches and migraines, PMS and emotional disturbances. It is also useful for organic brain conditions such as seizures, the autism spectrum, and cerebral palsy.

How does Neurofeedback work?
We apply electrodes to the scalp to listen in on brainwave activity. We process the signal by computer, and we extract information about certain key brainwave frequencies. (All brainwave frequencies are equal, but some are more equal than others….) We show the ebb and flow of this activity back to the person, who attempts to change the activity level. Some frequencies we wish to promote. Others we wish to diminish. We present this information to the person in the form of a video game. The person is effectively playing the video game with his or her brain. Eventually the brainwave activity is "shaped" toward more desirable, more regulated performance. The frequencies we target, and the specific locations on the scalp where we listen in on the brain, are specific to the conditions we are trying to address, and specific to the individual.

Who provides Neurofeedback & where can I find a provider?
Neurofeedback (EEG Biofeedback) is typically provided by mental health professionals such as psychologists, family therapists, and counselors. These professions usually work with clients one-on-one. The training may also be provided by nurses, clinical social workers, rehabilitation specialists, and educators. MDs also provide the service, but with the exception of psychiatrists will usually have the service provided by a trained staff person.

How is Neurofeedback used to train an individuals unique brain?
Over the years, certain Neurofeedback (EEG Biofeedback) training protocols have been developed that are helpful with certain classes of problems such as attention, anxiety and depression, seizures and migraines, as well as cognitive function. There are a number of assessment tools we use to help us decide which protocols to use. These are simple neurodiagnostic and neuropsychological tests.

Is Neurofeedback considered a cure for any condition?
In the case of organic brain disorders, it can only be a matter of getting the brain to function better rather than of curing the condition. When it comes to problems of disregulation, we would say that there is not a disease to be cured. Where disregulation is the problem, self-regulation may very well be the remedy. But again the word cure would not apply.

What conditions is Neurofeedback / EEG Biofeedback successful in helping?
We are especially concerned with the more "intractable" brain-based problems of childhood whose needs are not currently being met.

This includes:

Seizures and sub-clinical seizure activity
Severely disruptive behavior disorders such as Conduct Disorder and Bipolar Disorder.
Autistic spectrum and pervasive developmental delay.
Cerebral palsy
Acquired brain injury
Birth trauma
Many children have sleep problems that can be helped:

Bed wetting
Sleep walking, sleep talking
Teeth grinding
Nightmares
Night terrors
We can also be helpful with many of the problems of adolescence:

Drug abuse
Suicidal behavior
Anxiety and depression
We can also help to maintain good brain function as people get older. The good news is that almost any brain, regardless of its level of function, can be trained to function better.

I am not a doctor. I'm just a mom of a lovely li'l RADish. Please look into it further if your little one is trying to succeed in spite of RAD, ADHD, ODD, and/or FAS.

Mimi Cate's school hosts RODEO DAY

2008-10-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

Loving Autumn in HOT Texas!

2008-10-11T09:38:00.001-07:00

Bailout Plan

2008-10-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

I got this email from my dad. I LOVE it! You might have read it already...

Here it is:

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

I'm also against the $700,000,000,000++ bailout being proposed in Congress right now!

Instead, I'am in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a "We Deserve It" Dividend.

To make the math simple, lets assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.

So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion -- that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage housing crisis solved.
Pay off credit card debt.
Repay college loans what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college, I'll be there for Junior.
Save in a bank, create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car, create jobs
Invest in the market. capital drives growth
Pay for your parents medical i nsurance, health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is
cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it.
If we are going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every
adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go
back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the
private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea!

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion

We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, This plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5
Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Sincerely,

T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a
laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

Alright, I am throwing my PRO LIFE hat in...

2008-09-30T05:53:00.001-07:00

I found this story at http://www.lifenews.com,

Living the Pro-Life Message: John McCain's Adoption Makes His Views Realby Laura Echevarria
July 7, 2008

LifeNews.com Note: Laura Echevarria is a LifeNews.com opinion columnist. She is the former Director of Media Relations and a spokesperson for the National Right to Life Committee and has been a radio announcer, freelance writer active in local politics.

I learned something new about John McCain this week.

I knew that he and his wife had an adopted daughter and that Cindy McCain had brought her home as an infant after visiting Mother Teresa in India.

What I did not know was that when they brought their little girl back to care for her and save her life, they brought back another little girl as well. She was adopted by one of McCain's aides. The story in the Jerusalem Post reads:

Also little-known is the story of McCain's youngest child. As a result of a 1991 Cindy McCain visit to Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh, the McCains adopted an infant daughter dying from a host of health issues.

The orphanage could not provide the medical care needed to save the little girl's life, so the McCains, already the parents of six children, brought the child home to America, and paid for desperately needed surgeries and years of rehabilitation.

That child is their teenage daughter Bridget. In fact, there was a second infant girl brought back from the orphanage that the McCains saved. She ended up being adopted by one of McCain's aides, Wes Gullett, and his wife. "We were called at midnight by Cindy," Gullett has stated, and "five days later we met our new daughter Nicki at the LA airport."

This fall, Nicki will be a high school junior. Even after years of expensive medical treatment for the child, Gullett says, "I never saw a hospital bill" for her care. It is an extraordinary man who commits himself to such generous and heroic acts; it is an extraordinary politician who won't utter a word about such acts for political aggrandizement.

We in the pro-life movement want to see our politicians really mean it when they say they are pro-life. How many candidates would adopt a severely ill child, bring home another very ill child, pay for the care of both and not blow their own horn about it? I can think of very few.

The pro-life movement has butted heads with John McCain in a number of areas such as embryonic stem cell research and campaign finance reform but John McCain has a very long record that consistently attests to his pro-life credentials. I believe that he will appoint justices in the mold of Roberts, Thomas, Scalia and Alito. I believe that he will continue to promote pro-life policies firmly established under Presidents Reagan and Bush (41) and continued under our current president. I believe that John McCain will do what we in the pro-life movement hope to do: advance the pro-life cause.

I also firmly believe that John McCain will pick a running mate who will work with him on these issues and fit comfortably with the pro-life movement.

Some pro-lifers will choose to sit out this race and not vote, but if they do, their non-vote will allow Barack Obama a greater chance of taking office.

Obama clearly is even more pro-abortion than Bill Clinton which, I'm sure, most of us didn't think was possible. When he was in the state legislature, Barack Obama voted against the Illinois version of the Born-Alive Infant Protection Act and spoke out against it. Contrast this with John and Cindy McCain who were willing to bring home two severely ill infants, adopt one and pay for the care of both.

John McCain won't blow his own horn, but I will. What more can the pro-life movement need for proof than to find a candidate who puts his words into action and doesn't use those actions for political gain?

FIREPROOF!

2008-09-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Saw it! Loved it! Rob and I lived it and we are evidence that God can save lives, save marriages, can save him and can save me. We have to be humbled. We have to be accepting of God's love. We have to receive it, obey it, and be in covenant with God Almighty in order to sincerely love and honor our spouse. SEE THE MOVIE!

Prayers needed...

2008-09-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

The Norbys, http://norbycjukraineangel.blogspot.com, were in Ukraine adopting Matthew when we were there adopting Mimi Cate. Their process took quite a long time before. They are in Odessa, again. Hold on to your seats!!! They are adopting Matthew's older BIOLOGICAL brothers! Can you beleive it!?! God is sovereign. God is family. It is such a miracle that the Norby's found out about the boys and God's hand has brought this together. They have suffered through obstacles in this adoption and almost lost the ability to adopt the boys. Like I said, they are in Odessa right now and have been there for a month already. Please pray that their process will move at lightning speed now. They still have a hiccup to contend with and are in need of court dates.

Spinning

2008-09-24T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I am in another of my "spinning" episodes where life is busy and my brain has trouble processing even the smallest of tasks. Please forgive my lack of blogging.

Quick update: Mimi Cate just began neurofeedback treatment. WOW! What a difference. I do not completely understand the process but it essentially is reprogramming her brain waves. She has some issues that I have never discussed on this blog and I am reluctant to share too much. The result of some of the issues is ADHD type behavior and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. We spent two years in play therapy and we believe that it was essential in helping Mimi Cate reach age appropriate milestones and draw her closer to us in attachment. PRAYER is essential!!! I have been terrified to medicate and our pediatrician recommended neurofeedback. Well, for the first time in our short time with this little one, I can sincerely say that Mimi Cate is DELIGHTFUL! She is much more calm, peaceful, joyful, controlled, less violent, and has the ability to process basic skills with very little frustration.

Allen is doing so well. He loves school and is doing very well in class. Allen is slender, well... that is an understatement. He is the most petite boy on his flag football team. What that is outstanding is that this little boy is fast as lightnin' and he runs right through the middle to score touchdowns. He has scored two touch downs in two games and he is ecstatic!!! Al has played baseball and soccer since he was three and recently started playing tennis. Flag football seems to really be his sport, though. He is having a blast and we love to watch him.

Moms In Touch is growing really quickly in our area. I am elated to be a part of this ministry. Please pray that we can get the high schoool group pulled together by the end of the week.

Have I mentioned that I manage my grandparent's quarter horse racing/breeding business? Well, it is very emotional working with your family and then you throw on the fact that we are dealing with precious horses and heartbeats. I was supremely confident in my abilities and business decisions when I worked in commercial design. But, I am an emotional wreck when it comes to these horses. I truly love the animals. I stress out about honoring my grandmother's legacy while driving the business in a new direction. I desperately want to trust fellow horsemen and become disappointed that this business is not entirely honorable. So, I am hoping that I will find strength, be brave, have integrity, and remember that the Lord knows the end of the story.

Alright, I got this email. I have no idea if David Letterman truly wrote it but, I think that it is a nice read.
David Letterman wrote this; it's the David we don't often see...

As most of you know I am not a President
Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not
about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it
seems to hit the mark. The other day I was reading Newsweek
magazine and came across some Poll data I found
rather hard to believe. It must be true given
the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67
percent of Americans are unhappy with the
direction the country is headed and 69 percent of
the country is unhappy with the performance of
the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry
just ain't happy and want a change. So being the
knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What
are we so unhappy about?''

A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?

D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more
food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?

F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the
world is just not good enough either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide
services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of
trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or
prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss .

L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and
pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever
seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to
get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect
you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.

The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a
''dishonorable' ' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they
specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another Just ask
why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on
Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud
slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we
sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'
David Letterman

Good Stuff

2008-08-23T14:07:00.000-07:00

So many great blessings are abundant in our life right now. I am "fall on my face" humbled to be a part of all that God is doing.

Praise! God is the Master Planner! He was with us yesterday, standing beside us today, and He has tomorrow perfectly planned!

Thanksgiving! I got a job as a preschool teacher for 18-24 month olds at Mimi Cate's preschool. My dear friend has been teaching there for a couple of years and she was instrumental on bringing me on board. I am elated to work with these babies. Lord willing, it will curb my desire for another little one, myself. Good thing that I can't "accidently" adopt. "Oops, honey, it appears that there is invitation to adopt from the SDA! I thought that I was being so careful."

Rob has been introduced to some amazing people lately and he is encouraged.

We had Allen's "meet the teacher" last night. I am bouncing off the walls! I LOVE his teacher!!! She has experience. She knows her kids. She is a believer!!!!!!!! I met the principal. She is a believer!!!! The school is brand spanking new and it is so great! I am so thrilled for this year... I just can't contain my enthusiasm.

I am a contact person in Denton County for Moms In Touch International, www.momsintouch.org. BIG NEWS. We prayed all last year for the new elementary school and it's staff and WOW! God truly answered! We prayed for a group to come together for Guyer High School and YES! a group is quickly coming together. Another elementary school was lacking a group of praying moms and... all of sudden, two moms are ready to go. Tremendous support. I beg you to look into Moms In Touch. Intercession for our children is one of our biggest responsibilties. There are groups for preschools, public and private schools, special needs, homeschool, college and career. Ladies of all ages pray for your kids, grandkids, neighbors, nieces and nephews. I have seen amazing things come from prayers in Moms In Touch. My relationship with God has grown exponentially! You are praying with women around the globe!

Allen has pretty extreme sleep apnea. We have had several sleep studies. He has had his tonsils and adenoids removed. We have tried various meds. Finally, we went through with allergy testing and we might have a solution to some his issues. OH, he was MAD! Take a look...

Oh, this is going to sound silly, last year I was told that a dear (estranged) childhood friend had died. Rob and I went to dinner the other night and he was there with his wife and family. ALIVE!!!

Intercession: We have a terrific family of FIVE moving in with us today. They are here to begin the new school year and career with Navigators. What a blessing! We have wondered why the Lord has given us such a large home with two wasted rooms. Now we know that He had intended to fill them with the S family. We are so excited! Please pray that we will have a precious time of fellowship with them. Also, pray for a buyer of their home in Arkansas. They would love to get settled into a home of their own.

Pray for Mimi Cate's transition into the school year. You know where I am coming from if you are familiar with this little RADish.

Okay, gotta get dinner in the oven. Here are a few more pics of my great kiddos. Mer

Mini Vacation

2008-08-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

We did continue on our summer of bizarre vacations (look at my earlier post from June). We scored on an inexpensive vacation, so we thought. Our church was selling $10 tickets to the Rangers game where MERCY ME would be playing a pre game concert. WOW! So, we got tickets and decided to spend the night in a very nice hotel that was completely paid for with my husband's hotel points. The plan was to take the kids to SIX FLAGS (again, discounted tickets) the next morning. Well, we got to the game and we were melting before we ever hit the stadium. It was 108 degrees in the shade! We skipped the concert because it was in the blistering sun without any hint of shade. We stayed for a total of TWO innings. We went back to the hotel and the forecast for the next day was even hotter. UGH! We all went to bed not knowing what day two of our mini vacation would bring. Well, Rob had a great plan... Fossil Rim Animal Adventure Park. We had a blast! The park says not to feed the animals and drop the food on the ground. Yea, right! Take a look...

This is Mimi Cate feeding the giraffe from the sun roof...

You know that I loved this Eastern European Red Deer seeing that my two babies are from Russia and Ukraine...
Apparently, the Eastern European Red Deer, and his big teeth, loved us too...
Rob is not a big fan of all my horses but, this equine really liked him...

"It's my birthday, ya know!?!"

2008-07-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

Rejoice! The baby is four... FOUR!!! We visited Rob's family earlier in the month. We had a pizza party with all of the Copeland Clan in Illinois. Mimi Cate lives to be the center of attention and her party did not fail. Here are a few pics...

We celebrated at home with birthday cake for breakfast and visiting her favorite restaurant for lunch. We all went to Target to allow her to pick out a toy or outfit. She did NOT want anything. She turned to me and said, "Mommy, I want a manicuddle and a pedicuddle!" So, off we went to Sweet N Sassy for a spa mani & pedi, complete with sparkle polish and glitter lotion.

She received a cherry dress and matching flip flops from my mom. She was thrilled because her cousin got the same outfit on her birthday a few weeks before. Here is her modeling pic and a quick (sideways) video.

Funny thing that Mimi Cate said tonight...
Rob: Mimi Cate, thank you for doing such a good job following rules today.
Mimi Cate: Of course. Tell Mom.

Two Things Tag

2008-07-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

From Wendy's blog, www.wideopenair.blogspot.com. So, now I'm tagging you. Here's what you're supposed to do: Delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people or post to your blog.

Two names you go by:
1. Mama
2. Mer

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Baseball Mom T-shirt
2. Nike Running Shorts

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. read
2. sit outside

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. A new novel, I have spent the summer reading and re-reading some fantastic books. I am stumped as to what to read next. I am open to suggestions. I do not enjoy historical novels or Ted Dekker books. This summer, I have read SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME by R.Hall & D.Moore, GIFT FROM THE SEA by A.M. Lindbergh, THE SHACK by W.P. Young, THE WEDNESDAY LETTERS, DANGEROUS SURRENDER by Warren, THE LAST LECTURE by Pausch, and a few Nicholos Sparks novels.
2. Time alone to reorganize our home.

Two favorite pets you have had/have:
1. Princess, my very sweet broodmare that I had to sell last summer.
2. Miss Priss, my lhaso Poo who passed away a few years ago.

Two things you did yesterday
l. SPACE CHIMPs with the kids and some dear friends
2. played backgammon with Allen

Two things you ate today:
1. Cracked Pepper Triscuits
2. Lots of red grapes

Two people you last talked to:
1. Mimi Cate, she is standing right here
2. Allen

Two things you plan on doing tomorrow:
1. play date with one of Allen's friends
2. dinner with my dad and fellow horsemen and women

Two longest trips taken in the last five years:
1. I went to Ruidoso for two weeks in June 2008, one week there during Spring Break 08, four weeks last summer, etc...
2. A month in Ukraine to adopt our little girl Nov-Dec 05

Two favorite holidays:
1. Forever Family Day
2. Allen's birthday is our wedding anniversary

Two favorite beverages:
1. Coffee
2. Water

Please pray

2008-07-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have spent all of my (almost 40) summers in Ruidoso, New Mexico. I LOVE this place! My grandparents allowed me to summer with them in their mountain home. We entertained many guests, attended horse races every weekend, shopped the village, and spent countless hours trail riding. Some of my most beloved moments are tied to Ruidoso; My Papa cooking steaks on the "pot", camping at Bonito Lake, using their RV as my playhouse, stealing street signs as a teenager, hiding from broken hearts, taking family photos at Monjeau Lookout, enjoying many holidays and snow skiing. The most bittersweet memory was when my Mimi won the All American Futurity and my Papa had a stroke that very evening. In Ruidoso, my kids have hiked, explored, and felt the freedom of wandering out of my sight. Bears have helped themselves to garbage and plopped down to feast in our yard. (Two summers ago, a bear attempted to break in to the house as we returned form a late night excursion to find bears). Skunks and porcupines have had a few run ins with our dogs. Stellar Jays become accustomed to being fed peanuts and squawk at 6AM outside of the bedroom window for more food.

I sold my Mimi's Ruidoso home last summer. This is the first summer that I have not had a place to "land." I have been blessed to spend spring break and some of the summer in Ruidoso this year in a rent house. Being in the mountains makes me miss my grandparents so much more. I pray that my children will have such tender memories of their own. I look forward to the day that we can own a home in the mountains again.

Please pray for the Village of Ruidoso, the residents, and the tourists. Severe flooding from Hurricane Dolly has brought destruction, injury, and death to this small town. I pray that this disaster will bring many blessings to this wonderful piece of my own paradise.

These pics were taken by our horse trainer, Todd Fincher and a fellow blogger. I stumbled upon a blog of a person in Ruidoso, http://thepinkflamingo.blogharbor.com/blog.

MORE getting real...

2008-07-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

I have been reading all of the "getting real" challenges from Angel Weir's blog and I am inspired to share more of the intricacies of my chaos...

1. I do so love Def Leppard, Foreigner, Whitesnake, and Journey. I did grow up in the 80's in a smallish west Texas town where you made a "drag"(driving the drag strip between Taco Villa and Sonic) with your windows down, car radio cranked up, and driving way too fast.

2. I have spent most of my little life struggling with the lies that Satan feeds me. I have come to a place of peace and acceptance that I am NOT just tolerated by God, I am truly treasured and adored. I am not fat, I am maintaining a comfortable weight for my frame and the season in my life. I am good enough and deserve love. I am not solely responsible for every slight or major tragedy in my life, (we are all sinners who hurt one another), I am responsible for how that I move forward from tragedy, though. Shame does not consume, love is all consuming!

3. I spend way too much time on the computer!!!

4. I watch all the "reality" shows on Bravo. I love Project Runway and Top Chef. I am also addicted to Clean House with Neicy Nash. My friend Christy pointed out that I am spending an hour watching other people clean out their garage. Ha! I guess that I could spend that time going through my own junk.

5. My greatest suffering in life has brought blessings that I never dreamt possible. Our marriage was a big fat failure!!! We spent the first 7 years of our marriage as roommates, being lazy, angry, and denying God's role in our marriage. I will not go into details. We seperated. I read Kay Arthur's Marriage Without Regrets, and told God, "I am giving you a year! I have no love for this man! In one year, you show me if we are to divorce, continue seperation, or reconcile." Of course, my heart was hardened. I was justified in divorce and and I was not sincere on improving our lives together. During the time of our seperation, Rob fell madly in love with the Lord. Prayer changed my heart. Confession occurred. Forgiveness was granted. God came in and rescued. Today, I am so crazy about this man and I am "fall on my face" humbled that God has blessed us with a true marriage.

6. I YELL!

7. As a kid and teenager, I was an incredible liar. Ugh! I blush to think of the ridiculous things that I used to tell people. I wanted to be loved and accepted. Now that we are parents of a RAD child who tells huge lies, I see myself before I chose to be loved. SEE #2.

8. I usually don't make up the bed or clean the kitchen until the end of the day, before Rob gets home.

9. I love to eat spaghetti, for breakfast.

10. I have a brother who is lost in everyway and I struggle with forgiveness and judgement.

11. I have a favorite.

Mer

12. Oh, that comedian that we saw while on vacation... RON WHITE, Tater Salad, Blue Collar Comedy! As we pulled away for our road trip, Dawn said, "Oh! I forgot my Ron White book!" We went back to get it. We put the kids praise and worship music into the back of the car, along with DVD players, and read the Ron White book to one another as we drove. During one of our ill fated adventures in the mountains, we drove by the casino sign that showed Ron White was performing that weekend. WHAT!!! We had to go to the show and we had a blast!

Getting Real! Spinning, Spinning, Spinning

2008-07-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

I accept the challenge from Angel Weir. I will get real!

I have often used the Tazmanian Devil example for various circumstances in my life. I always come back to the idea of looking for a soft place to land. Spinning and spinning aimlessly, constantly bumping into things or people, unsettled, solitary... lost. There have been times in my life where stress, suffering, and chaos set me off to spinning out of control. I look for temporary solutions like distractions, procrastination, managing details, and reorganization.

For example, I needed to find a central location for the pockets of clutter compiled of filing, to do projects, finances, scrapbooking, etc. I could not go through the piles and tackle the work until I had a home office with a file cabinet to give each piece of paper a home. So, I quickly ran out to find a desk. Well, the spinning began. Not only did I have to a table but, it needed four legs (not a pedestal base) because I may have to homeschool at some point. I wanted it to be inexpensive so, I hit the every consignment store and thrift shop in the county. This took a few days to drive around and make sure that I saw everything. Of course, the table had to be a certain wood and stain (in order to match an existing piece of furniture). Well, I found a table that fit all of that criteria! It only took me 3 full days, miles of driving with high dollar gasoline, carting around a three year old... ugh! Don't even get me started on the path that ensued with a file cabinet, desk accessorries, draperies, and rehanging artwork.

The point is that I invested all kinds of effort into establishing a soft place to land with all of my clutter and chaos. I avoided stopping and doing the actual paperwork by spinning into a redecorating project. Of course, it was much more fun than actual work. So, the office has been set up for a couple of months now. Where am I on tackling the paperwork and initial pockets of clutter? I have not even made a dent! Of course, I can focus on other spinning projects like preparing for a summer activities, catching up on ironing and laundry, volunteering for another ministry project... etc

As I spin from point to point with flailing arms and growling grumbles, pink cell phone, playdates, and carpool... God reached into my tornado of chaotic procrastination, grabbed both my arms and looked into my heart and said, "STOP! I am your soft place to land." When Allen was much smaller, he had trouble finishing his meals because he was so consumed with what activity was next. We would slowly say "Focus," as we would do the hand signals of a airport worker bringing in a plane. God whispers, "Focus."

I am spinning because I lack discipline. Discipline requires passion. I am not passionate about organizing the details of my life thus, clutter accumulates. So, I am realizing that I am not passionate about pursuing God and honoring Him by good stewardship. UGH! The Lord has entrusted blessings to me and I am not disciplined about taking care of them with my whole heart. Please pray for me. Please pray for a passion to know HIM more, to love Him with my whole heart, and truly desire His will for my life. Please pray that I will be disciplined in my management of our family, home and small business. Thanks! Mer

God is our Master Planner!

Vacation Update...

2008-07-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

My dear friend, Dawn, and I took our kids on an almost two week vacation to Ruidoso, New Mexico. It was quite an adventure! We set out, in my brand new Toyota Highlander Hybrid, for a 9.5 hour drive (which took us 12 hours). We hit a serious thunderstorm as we drove through the middle of nowhere late at night. There was lightning and 60 mph winds. We could not see right in front of the car. Orange dirt swirled around us and I was quietly praying that we were not driving blind into a tornado. Dawn asked me to pray and we did. As soon as we said "Amen," a light rain began and the dust settled. We drove for another 20 minutes and came upon a small town, Plains, Texas. As we hit the lights of town, the sky let go. Dawn said, "We need to take cover now!" We were about 20 feet from a gas station awning and... WHAP! BOOM! We took two baseball size hail balls to the windshield and to the back of the car. UGH! That is the first drama.

We eventually got to Ruidoso and settled into our rent house. Ooops! The national forest is CLOSED! Extreme Fire Danger due to NO RAIN! After a few days without hiking we decided to drive to Alamogordo to sled down the dunes of the White Sands Desert. We had about 3-4 minutes of sledding and... WHAP! Lightning, I mean it was right on us! Screaming and tears spewed from the kids and we bolted to the car. Drought in the forest and rain in the desert!

Just a few other examples of our strange vacation are...
1. My back went out and I was in bed for two days.
2. Allen broke the hole marker of the brand new putting green at the rent house.
3. My windshield replacement cost 3X the price of a regular replacement! Small mountain town!
4. We drove through the backside of the Mescalaro reservation in pitch black night with rain, lightning, and FOG. Please keep in mind that horses and cattle have free reign on the reservation and seem to believe that the road is where that they should congregate as well as deer and elk.
5. We attended the High Rolls Cherry Festival and there were NOT any cherries due to a late freeze. WHAT!?! In other words, we drove quite a distance to attend a very small vendor fair.
6. As we spent an afternoon in the quaint town of Cloudcroft, a bizarre single man stalked us and our children from the playground, to the village, and into a small boutique as I was trying on clothes.
7. The kids got some strange rash/fungus from playing in the hot tub at the rent house.
8. Bonito Lake, where the kids like to play and catch minnows and mommies sit on the shore and enjoy the scenery where mountains meet the lake was... CLOSED!
9. We planned on going to Carlsbad Caverns on the last day of vacation. As we began the journey from Ruidoso, we collectively agreed to scrap those plans and go home! Vacation was OVER!

Of course, this was a memorable vacation. We did have lots of fun. Dawn took the kids on bear hunts every evening. They saw four different black bears. We saw many elk, skunk, racoons, and birds. We had deer just a few feet from our deck. The kids enjoyed playing, especially in the rain. Allen caught his first (2) fish. We loved the Flying J Ranch where they had a wild west street shoutout, chuckwagon dinner, and western performance. I got to catch up on reading. We relaxed on the lawn of THE LODGE in Cloudcroft while the kids played freeze tag. The mommies got a night out and saw a famous comedian(who I am ashamed to admit that I think is absolutely crude but, hysterical!)at the big resort, The Inn of the Mountain Gods. We had fun and fellowhip. It was nice to get away and I always love Ruidoso.

We got home in time to celebrate the fourth of July with my parents and close friends. We have caught up on laundry and chores just in time to leave for a visit to Illinois to see Rob's family. Have a terrific summer and talk to you soon! Mer

Happy Dad's Day!

2008-06-15T18:33:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Rob today by spending the afternoon doing his favorite thing, baseball. We went out in 106 Degree temperatures to watch the Fort Worth Cats play. The kids ate junk food, hopped on bleachers, mommy melted, and Daddy got to enjoy the game.

When Allen was around 3-4 years old he really enjoyed The Land Before Time movies. In The Great LongNeck Migration, LittleFoot meets his dad for the first time. Well, there was a darling song that LittleFoot sang in honor of his Dad. Allen used to sing it all of the time. It was even more precious because of the way Allen truly picked his Dad back in that Russian orphanage. So, here are the lyrics (keep in mind that it is sung by a brontosaurus).

It's nice to have a dad that you can be with
To share a part of each and every day
Who you can talk and joke and play and eat a tree with
Who wants to hear the things you have to say
Who will lift you up when the water's too deep
Who'll stay by your side while you're falling asleep
Who understands whenever you feel sad
It's really, awfully nice
To have a dad

Friends are important
They're such a big part of you
But I always thought a dad would be something special
Now I know it's true

It's great to have a dad you can have fun with
A dad who's got a neck that's extra long
It's good to have someone to be a son with
Who's big and brave and wise
And kind and strong
He'll laugh at the silly things you do
And when you're in trouble
He'll pull you through
Even with the love I've always had
This is something new
I've found a dad
My dad
And since you came my way
I'm, oh, so glad
And I'm proud to be your son
'Cause you're my favorite one
And only Dad

Also, Happy Father's Day to my wonderful dad, Randy, and Rob's sweet father, Earl. Many prayers for Allen's, Mimi Cate's and my birthfathers today! Mer

My grandbabies are holding me accountable...

2008-06-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

Last night, Rob and I had a really nice date. After our meal, we sat on a bench and had a wonderful visit. We talked about career, home, friends, vacation, and heaven. We also talked the grandkids that we will have someday. (Oh, how I love those li'l grandbabies that are decades from appearing in our lives!) I want to be a "BaBa" (babuschka) and he wants to be "Pops."

We talked about the kind of parents that Allen and Mimi Cate will be and WHAM! The Holy Spirit slapped us with conviction. Don't get me wrong... we were good parents before Mimi Cate but, a RADish changes your parenting completely (good and bad). We are much more positive in our language and much more deliberate in unceasing teachable moments. But, our frustration level is very high and patience can be very limited.

We have worked so hard to remove boulders from the bag that she carries. Are we adding hundreds of tiny pebbles in their place? I confess! There is some yelling. We lack kindness in our words and tone. We send her to bed early because we can't take anymore. I roll my eyes in exhasperation. I shoot looks of disgust... all pebbles and rocks being tossed back into the bag.

Mimi Cate will carry all of that into her life as she becomes a mom. OUCH! Yes, she has special circumstances and needs but, OUCH! As we talked about this we became very protective of those li'l grandbabies. Oh, how it hurts my heart that she would speak to those babies the way that have I have spoken to her.

We thank God for standing in the gap in our parenting. There are consequences for our actions. God forgives but the consequences are inevitable. We live with the consequences of Mimi Cate's birthmother's choices and the orphanages neglect. We have spent thousands of dollars and changed our lives completely to undo that damage. So, we must hold each thought, each word captive not only for our children but also, our grandkids.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

A bag of rocks...

2008-06-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

It is hard for us to comprehend why Reactive Attachment Disorder and it's behaviors can't be overcome with true, unconditional love. Counselling, prayer, and strategic parenting are essential to reaching a RAD child. But, ultimately, a choice must be made. I copied this from another blog, http://www.foreverparents.com/

A Bag of Rocks:
When you carry a bag of rocks around, day in and day out, you will inevitably become tired. No matter how far you walk, how hard you work, how much you try, you are still tired. Even sleep is ineffective, because you are sleeping with your bag of rocks, and when you wake in the morning you continue throughout the day carrying the bag of rocks.

Some people would ask, “Why not just let go of the bag of rocks? Stop carrying it around with you, just put them down. Can’t you see that would make it easier?” But, you see, I am afraid that if I let go of the rocks there will be nothing left. The rocks are all that I have, all that I have carried with me throughout my life, all that I trust. Certainly, carrying these rocks around makes me tired. But being tired is familiar, and safe. Would you let go of all that you have in the world, if you were not certain that by doing so you would gain more?

And yet (the irony is) we cannot have the certainty of more, until we let go of what we have. As long as I am carrying this bag of rocks, my arms are much too full for me to accept anything else. Even when you offer me a bag of feathers I don’t dare to take it, for how can I trust that the load you are offering me is truly a load of feathers without opening the bag? Others have offered feathers, but given lead. How can I know that the bag you offer is not heavier than my current burden unless I let go of my bag of rocks, freeing my hands to open your bag? And I cannot let go of my bag, for if I put it down it might be taken from me. Or, even worse, I may find that my arms ace far too much for me to pick up the bag again, and then I would have nothing.

Can you understand why I would despair? You ask me to give up all that I believe that I have, all that I believe that I am, and yet I cannot. The fear of having nothing–of being nothing–is far too great. You want me to give up my hatred, my anger, and my pain (but most of all my pain, for the hatred and anger are mere masks for the grief and fear I hold inside). It will make me better, you say. And yet, how can I trust you, without first giving up all that I am holding on to? And how can I give up all that I am holding, if I do not trust you? Can you not see the confusion I am living with, the overwhelming fear that controls my actions? Can you not see why I push you away? Why I cause harm to myself, and to you? Can you not see why I am afraid?

Please understand, I don’t want it to be this way. I do want more, I really do. Perhaps you may have noticied how hard I try, before the despair seems too much to bear, before I give in. If only I could give up these rocks, I would have peace. I would be happy. I want to believe it, but I can’t. So I continue walking, dragging my bag of rocks, and wishing for something I can never have.

I wrote this just over a year ago, as an attempt to explain to my therapist why I was holding on to so many of my destructive behaviors so stubbornly. I finally found the courage to let go of the bag and try something new–and yet at times I still go back to that bag of rocks, because it is so familiar and safe, and the new ways are still uncomfortable and scary. I am considering adding more to this piece–as I no longer feel the hopelessness I ended on a year ago. In the meantime, I hope perhaps the piece can help parents of RADs (reactive attachement disorder) understand why it is so difficult for their children to trust, and why they may fight so hard against what you can clearly see is best for them.

Reading this made me realize that being a RADish is so much like being a lost soul in this world without God. Christianity is too easy, just believe... have faith, trust. I thank my God with constant worship that my own bag of rocks, my sin, does not destroy me. His amazing love has no boundaries. No amount of pride or shame can force me to deny my Savior. Prayer and humility continue to bring me to submission. Jesus Christ's sacrifice allows me forgiveness and hope. I choose to lay down my bag of rocks before His feet. Mer

I am blessed...

2008-06-03T09:18:00.001-07:00

The goal of our life should not be to find joy in marriage,

but to bring more love and truth to the world.

We marry to assist each other in this task.

The most selfish and hateful life of all is that of

two beings who unite in order to enjoy life.

The highest calling is that of the man who

has dedicated his life to

serving God and doing good,

and who unites with a woman in order to further that purpose.

Leo Tolstoy

No, it is not our anniversary. Just because... I love you. Rob, you are more than I could have ever dreamed that a husband would be. We have been through valleys with our companions, sorrow and suffering. We have been blessed at the summit in God's glory. You are more than I deserve. Thank you for dedicating your life to serving God and choosing me to further that purpose. By God's grace, we have been blessed with joy in marriage. You are a man to be truly admired.

...make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Phillipians 2:2-5

Mer

2008-05-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not having the gift of blogging. I do believe that blogging falls under the missions umbrella of spiritual gifts for some. I am always following blogs that share God's wisdom and truth of everyday mommy lives. I admire the bravery of Angel Weir, Tonya Kissack, Wendi Henry, and that of Angie of http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/, in sharing their testimonies.

In the small world of Copelands... We celebrated Allen's 7th birthday in April. He had a Jedi In Training party. The boys ran obstacle courses (like Luke Skywalker trained in Empire Strikes back), they did head stands with Yoda (backpack) on their back, had balloon light saber fights, swung from trees. We even threw in a short devotional about The True Force and a bit about the "dark side." Even the dark will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you, O Lord. Psalm 137:12

Allen got a green machine for his birthday. I wanted to show him how to spin out on the turn and I fit in the weight restriction. A bruised mommy tailbone later, and Allen still can't spin out.

Mimi Cate is doing so great! We can say with some confidence that she is attaching to mommy!!! Praise and glory to God!!! Of course, the behaviors of RAD are still present. We have had so many blessings in raising this little one. Prayers are our strongest tool in parenting. We have worked with a wonderful social worker, she is attending a preschool where her teacher is an intecessory prayer warrior and the administrator is a foster parent (her blog is http://www.spoonfullofsugar.org/), we have changed our parenting skills and expectations...

We continue to praise both kids for demonstrating the fruits of the spirit. We have replaced the "Smiley Board" for a Fruits of the Spirit tree.They are rewarded by placing a cardstock fruit on the tree when either demonstrate one of the characteristics; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. It seems to be working. When there are five fruits on the tree, a reward is granted. If all nine fruits are rewarded in one day, there is a special treat at the end of the day. I would post a pic of the tree but, I can't find my camera.

Funny things that the kids have said lately...

Mom: Hey! Let's run by our friends house and see if they want to play outside.

Allen: "Lovin it! You are making very good choices!"

I told Mimi Cate a joke and she replied with a sympathy laugh, "Oh, mom, you're killing me."

Mimi Cate said, "Mommy, God lives in my heart and in my belly. God says that I need food NOW!"

Allen asked for an older brother, Mimi Cate replied, "No. I just can't handle any more boys today."

Mother's Day card from Mimi Cate: My mom is 10 years old. My mom is happiest when I am at school. My mom is angry and happy. I love my mom because I love her.

Be sure to check Angel Weir's blog. She and her terrific friends have begun an incredible organization to defeat hunger by faith. I will try to post the Red Letters logo on my blog later. I am so bad at tricks of blogging.

SUPER DEE DUPER!!!

2008-03-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

Mimi Cate LOVES Barney! We do not watch very much television in our home. We limit it to weekends and long car rides. Mimi Cate will only watch Barney. She asks 20 times a day, "May I watch Bahney now, PLEASE?" It is amazing how that she retains all of the lessons that she learns on Barney. We can teach her so many things about God, her heart, her family, manners, rules, shapes & colors. But, she does not retain it like her songs and script from Barney. If only Barney had a Christian curriculum... imagine the memory verses!

Barney rolled into town in a BIG purple bus this weekend. He was celebrating his 20th birthday at Toys R Us. Lots of fun! Of course, Allen was too cool to even smile during the event.

Welcome to our adventure!

2008-03-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I am back! We took over a year off from our spot in blog world. We discontinued our former blog that kept you updated on our Ukrainian adoption journey and the first year with our daughter. We have friends and family all over the globe. We want to keep in touch with pictures of the kids and postings of the adventures of our lives.

Just to get you up to date... Allen is doing very well in school. He says that his favorite things are "to learn and write." (We'll see if that is true when he is a teenager.) Mimi Cate is doing very well. Her charm and joy are contagious.

My prayer for them this year is; "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow withhope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

I am going to spend some time trying to figure out the blogspot format. Please let me know that you have been by and I would love to add your blog to my list of favorite links.